Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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