I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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