I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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