This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
even my farts smell like vagina
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
