ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
