i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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