U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
