I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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