I got chris browned last night
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
