They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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