OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize