My first STD was from a foam party
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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