So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
