Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
we're so committed to being not committed
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
