I forgot how hot balto sounded
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
