The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Are we still banned from the library?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
