I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I am mentally ready for anal.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
