Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
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