Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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