apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
