So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
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i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
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