he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
