He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Randomize
