I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
