WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
