i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize