Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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