btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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