He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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