arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
