Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
