I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
