he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I want a musical about memes.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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