yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
