So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
