This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
