Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize