1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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