just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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