he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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