I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
