i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize