Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
