I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
