There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
