I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
