last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
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