I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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