Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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