just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize