There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Watching her eat just hurts me
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
