So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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