Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
That accounts for only three of the penises
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
