I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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