i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
