we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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