Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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