You're completely useless in the revolution.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize