I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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