im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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